dontdestroy, Author at Don't Destroy your Child https://dontdestroy.org/author/dontdestroy/ Educating Parents on how to raise a child Mon, 31 Jul 2023 23:28:43 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.5 https://i0.wp.com/dontdestroy.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/cropped-ddyc-2.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 dontdestroy, Author at Don't Destroy your Child https://dontdestroy.org/author/dontdestroy/ 32 32 214587680 Shaken Baby Syndrome  https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/shaken-baby-syndrome/ https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/shaken-baby-syndrome/#respond Sun, 14 May 2023 01:21:58 +0000 https://dontdestroy.org/?p=1795 Shaken Baby Syndrome Shaken Baby Syndrome is a life-threatening, abusive head injury caused by violent shaking of a baby, resulting in brain, retinal, hearing injury, mental and physical disabilities, and even death.   Shaken Baby Syndrome occurs mostly due to parental exhaustion, lack of sleep, stress, frustration, substance abuse, alcohol, and teenage parenting.  What to […]

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Shaken Baby Syndrome

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Shaken Baby Syndrome is a life-threatening, abusive head injury caused by violent shaking of a baby, resulting in brain, retinal, hearing injury, mental and physical disabilities, and even death.  

Shaken Baby Syndrome occurs mostly due to parental exhaustion, lack of sleep, stress, frustration, substance abuse, alcohol, and teenage parenting. 

What to do when your baby does not stop crying and you feel frustrated, irritated, or have reached your limit: 

  1. Put your baby in the crib and walk away to another room.
  2. Focus your attention on something else, such as watching TV, using your phone, or calling someone, ect.
  3. When you feel calmer, come back, and try to calm the baby again.
  4. Watch this video for a technique that shows how to calm a baby in 5 seconds: How To Calm A Crying Baby – Dr. Robert Hamilton Demonstrates “The Hold” (Official) – YouTube
  5. Walk outside with the baby.
  6. Play soft music.
  7. Gently pull their legs and bend them toward their chest to help relieve trapped gas that may be causing pain to the baby.
  8. Gently move their legs in a bicycle motion to help relieve trapped gas that may be causing pain to the baby. 

If your baby does not quiet down with this technique, try to find other reasons for the baby’s inconsolable crying, such as:  

  • Hungry 
  • Wet diaper 
  • Pain 
  • Sleepiness 
  • Anxiety 
  • Stress 
  • Need for attention 
  • Need for interaction 
  • Need for mental stimulation 
  • Colic  
  • Gas 
  • Illness 
  • Fever 
  • Temperature of room 

Remember the fragility of a baby’s brain and blood vessels. Stop and realize that violently shaking your baby can result in the becoming paralyzed, blind, deaf, having seizures, learning disabilities, cerebral palsy, and even death. The baby’s head is big and heavy, but the neck is weak and unable to hold up the heavy head when the baby is violently shaken. The delicate blood vessels of the brain will rupture, causing hemorrhage and a lack of blood supply to other areas of the brain cell tissue. The baby’s delicate brain gets damaged due to the direct crash against the walls of the hard skull. 

PLEASE NEVER, EVER SHAKE OR SLAM YOUR BABY. IT ONLY TAKES A SECOND TO RUIN YOUR LIFE FOREVER. THE GUILT OF KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN THE CAUSE OF HARMING YOUR BABY AND THAT BECAUSE OF YOU, THE BABY ENDED UP IN A WHEELCHAIR FOR LIFE OR DEAD WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER. 

Read our other  topics

Neglect

Sibling Favoritism

Emotional Abuse

Physical Abuse

Shaken Baby Syndrome

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]]> https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/shaken-baby-syndrome/feed/ 0 1795 Emotional Abuse https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/elementor-1694/ https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/elementor-1694/#respond Sun, 14 May 2023 01:05:42 +0000 https://dontdestroy.org/?p=1694 Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse is another form of cruelty against children. Instead of making the child feel happy, with good self-esteem, safe, loved, understood, supported, and protected, emotionally abusive parents or caregivers harm the child’s self-worth and emotional well-being, becoming a constant threat to their mental and emotional health.  These cruel actions towards children include […]

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Emotional Abuse

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Emotional abuse is another form of cruelty against children. Instead of making the child feel happy, with good self-esteem, safe, loved, understood, supported, and protected, emotionally abusive parents or caregivers harm the child’s self-worth and emotional well-being, becoming a constant threat to their mental and emotional health. 

These cruel actions towards children include not giving them or showing them love, rejecting them even when they want to hug or kiss you, making threats, constant criticism, shaming, embarrassing them in private or in front of others, making them live in fear, screaming, cursing, making them feel that they are not worth anything, insulting and humiliating them, for instance, saying “you are stupid” or “you are useless,” “you are worthless,” “I wish you never existed,” “you will never achieve anything,” name-calling, isolating them, and not allowing them to play or socialize with others. 

Parents must understand that these abuses will be the painful memories a child will have from their parents for life. We often wonder why we see children who, when they become adults, do not want to know anything about their parents, who avoid being close to them at all costs and do not want to talk to them even over the phone. Abusive parents should be aware that when the years go by and parents get elderly, they become vulnerable and start feeling the necessity to be closer to their children, but it is too late. Repentance will be useless because the bond has been broken for many years. 

Please treat your children well and do not mistreat them, so that in the future, your children will want to be close to you and will not despise you. Old age comes to everyone in this life, and according to what you have sown, that is what you will reap. If you were bad to your children, abandoned and alone is how you will end up due to these abusive experiences and unforgettable painful memories caused by the parents when the children were younger and felt vulnerable. 

Read our other  topics

Neglect

Sibling Favoritism

Emotional Abuse

Physical Abuse

Shaken Baby Syndrome

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]]> https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/elementor-1694/feed/ 0 1694 Physical Abuse https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/physical-abuse/ https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/physical-abuse/#respond Sun, 14 May 2023 01:05:35 +0000 https://dontdestroy.org/?p=1784 Physical Abuse Physical abuse is one of the most despicable acts of cruelty against children. Instead of giving them love, protection, and understanding, physically abusive parents or caregivers cause them suffering, inflict injuries, and even cause death.   There is no possible justification for inflicting such harm on any child. It is extremely shameful because a […]

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Physical Abuse

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Physical abuse is one of the most despicable acts of cruelty against children. Instead of giving them love, protection, and understanding, physically abusive parents or caregivers cause them suffering, inflict injuries, and even cause death.  

There is no possible justification for inflicting such harm on any child. It is extremely shameful because a child is the most precious thing a parent could have, and if a parent is not capable of defending, caring for, protecting, and loving their child, and instead abuses them, who cannot defend themselves due to their young age and innocence, then the parents and caregivers are cowards. Their actions are despicable and reprehensible, and cannot be allowed by society. 

 

Examples of cruelty that these children are subjected to include  

  • Bruises  
  • Bite marks 
  • Skin marks with different pattern like belt, robe, cord, ligature, curling iron, clothes iron, etc. 
  • Handprint bruises 
  • Skin lacerations  
  • Immersion skin burns (Intentional)  
  • Restraints marks on extremities 
  • Bones fractures 
  • Joints dislocations 
  • Walking and sitting difficulties  
  • Head traumas  
  • Bone fractures 
  • Skull fractures 

Even if these children are lucky enough to come out alive and be rescued from the hands of their monstrous parents, the aftermath of emotional destruction will haunt them throughout their lives, negatively impacting their perception, ability to love and feel loved, trust in humanity, relate to others, and be at peace. In short, what the abuser has done is destroy the life of the child, that is an innocent human beings, and take away the possibility of being happy. 

  

It is heartbreaking to see the horrible face of this cruelty inflicted on children. Why do parents or caregivers feel they have the right to destroy the life of an innocent child? Why does this innocent child have to suffer and die at the hands of their own parents or caregivers who are supposed to protect them? Why does a child have to endure such great pain? 

Read our other  topics

Neglect

Sibling Favoritism

Emotional Abuse

Physical Abuse

Shaken Baby Syndrome

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]]> https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/physical-abuse/feed/ 0 1784 Favoritism https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/elementor-1772/ https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/elementor-1772/#respond Sun, 14 May 2023 00:30:48 +0000 https://dontdestroy.org/?p=1772 Sibling Favortism For parents that have more than one child and actively favor one over the other. #siblings #favoritism #abuse How it affects the child When a child feels that their parents shows preference for one of the sibling over the other one, the child is sown with a feeling that he is rejected and […]

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Sibling Favortism

For parents that have more than one child and actively favor one over the other. #siblings #favoritism #abuse
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How it affects the child

When a child feels that their parents shows preference for one of the sibling over the other one, the child is sown with a feeling that he is rejected and unloved by his parents, which will result in jealousy and resentment towards his parents that the child will never forget and that he will carry inside with him until adulthood.

Consequences as an adult

Sometimes we wonder why there are dysfunctional families, why there are siblings and parents who fight so much, that they seem to hate each other and that when they are adults they move away not only from their siblings but from their own parents.

We want parents to understand that they should treat their children equally, that each child is unique, that they should not be compared. Here are some examples of what you should never say to your child:

  • “Your sibling is better than you.”
  • “Your sibling is my pride.”
  • “You are my favorite child”
  • “You have to be like your sibling.”
  • “Your sibling is smarter than you.”
  • “Your sibling gets better grades in school than you.”
  • “Your sibling behaves better than you.”
  • “Your sibling is prettier than you.”
  • “Why can’t you be like your sibling?”

We want parents to understand the disastrous consequences of emotional damage caused by favoritism towards one child. This emotional damage can break a child’s self-esteem to pieces, leaving them feeling depressed, insecure, stressed, angry, and other negative feelings that can affect their mental health and persist into adulthood. When a child feels that their parents show favoritism for one sibling over the other, the child grows up with a feeling that they are rejected and unloved by their parents. This will result in jealousy and resentment towards their parents and siblings. 

Read our other  topics

Neglect

Sibling Favoritism

Emotional Abuse

Physical Abuse

Shaken Baby Syndrome

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]]> https://dontdestroy.org/2023/05/14/elementor-1772/feed/ 0 1772 Neglect https://dontdestroy.org/2023/03/19/neglect/ https://dontdestroy.org/2023/03/19/neglect/#respond Sun, 19 Mar 2023 19:19:52 +0000 https://dontdestroy.org/?p=1703 Neglect In child neglect the child suffers a lot because they are at the mercy of people who do not satisfy their minimum physical or emotional needs. Neglect is the most common type of all child maltreatment. #neglect #abuse #child maltreatment Neglect Neglect is another form of child maltreatment, and the harm it causes to […]

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Neglect

In child neglect the child suffers a lot because they are at the mercy of people who do not satisfy their minimum physical or emotional needs. Neglect is the most common type of all child maltreatment.

#neglect #abuse #child maltreatment

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Neglect

Neglect is another form of child maltreatment, and the harm it causes to the child is disastrous. In child neglect, the child suffers a lot because they are at the mercy of people who do not satisfy their minimum physical or emotional needs. Neglect is the most common type of all child maltreatments, and they are all very harmful, ending up destroying the child’s present and future life.

Emotional neglect

In emotional neglect, your child needs you, and you are not there for them. Here, the parents show indifference, carelessness, and are not interested in knowing the child’s feelings. The parents don’t take the time to talk, to ask them:

  • “Hey my child, how are you feeling?”
  • “Do you have any problem or concern?”

Parents also fail to notice what overwhelms their child, if they are sad, feel insecure about something, or are afraid. Parents fail to give advice or guidance on how to behave in life or in life’s challenges, not teaching them a direction, not educating them about what is right or wrong, or about the consequences of their actions.

In emotional neglect, the developing brain of a child can be affected due to toxic stress in neglected children or youths. Sadly, as the brain is not optimally developed, children are placed at high risk for the following disadvantages: 

  • Learning disabilities 
  • Low academic performance 
  • Poor reading ability 
  • Low mental ability 
  • Problems relating to others 
  • Frequent negative thinking 
  • High level of apathy 
  • Distrust of others 
  • Poor control of emotion 
  • Deficit in executive functions:
    • concentration, memory retention, emotional control, planning, initiation and prioritization tasks, unexpected situation adjustment, self-monitoring behavior 
  • Personality disorders: 
    • borderline, paranoid, antisocial, obsessive-compulsive, narcissistic, schizotypal, schizoid, avoidant, histrionic, dependent 

Physical Neglect

In physical neglect, there is a failure in providing basic needs such as food, clothing, shelter, hygiene, medical care, and education. As this is another type of child maltreatment, it will also cause a lot of damage to the physical, emotional, and mental health of the child and future adult. These are some of the consequences:

  • Malnourishment
  • Failure to thrive
  • Injuries due to non-supervision
  • Developmental delay
  • Frequent sickness and infections

It is very heartbreaking to see the horrible face of this cruelty inflicted on children. Why do parents or caregivers feel they have the right to destroy the life of an innocent child? Why does this innocent child have to suffer at the hands of their own parents or caregivers who are supposed to protect them? Why do innocent children always have to remember with pain:

  • My parents never cared about me
  • How little I am worth to my parents
  • My parents never loved me
  • My parents didn’t care if I went to bed without eating or not
  • My parents didn’t cook for me, and they didn’t care if I ate well or not
  • My parents didn’t take care of me when I was sick
  • My parents didn’t take me to the doctor when I was sick
  • My parents didn’t take me to checkups
  • My parents were not aware of my health, nor the medicines I had to take
  • My parents did not provide me with clean clothes
  • My parents sent me to school with dirty clothes
  • My parents didn’t take me to school
  • My parents did not supervise me or help me with school assignments.

Read our other  topics

Neglect

Sibling Favoritism

Emotional Abuse

Physical Abuse

Shaken Baby Syndrome

Sources

InBrief: The Impact of Early Adversity on Children’s Development (harvard.edu)

The Science of Neglect (harvard.edu)

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